When nothing else makes sense i got a few people i can call to help clear shit up.
i really love my crew and can't wait to get home and see them.
rena, duckie, ziggy, ave
♥
-girl

for the stolen ones....

i started writing a poem down my thigh because i didn't have paper. There has been a lot of sadness around philly and my community. i felt i had to write something down.

ahhh death you rear your ugly head again.
not to take one of mine but one of those in alliance.
you do it just to tease take the innocent with thunder and regret.
you make us blame ourselves,
question our motives,
and shed tears we didn't expect to use for years.
ahhh death you're a tricky one you are. knock us off our toes,
put weapons in the hands of the weak,
to bring the living closer together.
we light candles in the darkness
but we can't ligh candles in our hearts.
i wasn't expecting to see you so soon.
felt like yesterday when he was stolen from the love.
was this some sick reminder that my life is short,
that love is undying
and appreciation can raise hundreds?
with all the pain you caused taking him from us
and her from them,
we are all learning to overcome.
send letters of affection and take pictures of friendships.
join in times of pain and rejoice in our memories.
tattoo love poems down our spines to support our ambition.
ahhh death you slip in and out of life.
i will never forget you and i surely won't get used to you.
for to lay down and take pain is to give up.
moving on, overcoming and remembering
is not the same as accepting and becoming consumed with the concept of you.
i'm choosing to remember and do better.
live out what they were not permitted to do.
most importantly tell those i love what matters most
their presence, even for just a moment, makes my life worth living

end of the year

Today was the official last day for me.

i think overall this was a good year.
i've made some fun friends and learned a lot about myself.
i actually am gonna miss quite a few people while i'm in philly.

Thank you DePaul its been real, but
this chicks ready to see her fam though.

outfit from the other day....

--girl

Spring Brizake

i went home. i had fun. i'm still in love with the people in my life. i partied, i slept, i laughed, i cried, i ran, i jumped, i skipped and i took a bunch of effing pictures so i have to share:


















in the process of uploading these pictures i decided that i hate uploading pictures. ALL of my pictures are dull looking and i don't know why.... i have a major love hate relationship with the internet right now.

--philly girl

GAHHHHHHH (thats my excited yell)

Amelia is here!

She came to visit me from Philly and i am soooo happy she is here.
Its freezing (literally), but we have still been out the house everyday since she got here on Wednesday night.

we:

• lost a cell phone
• found a cell phone
• spent hours on the trains and buses
  
• ate Indian food
• shopped
• took pictures
• ate cinnamon buns (mmmm...)
• saw Avatar with DD
• spent an HOUR walking around a parking lot looking for a grey jeep grand cherokee....
• it snowed
• we froze
• we laughed
• i'm gonna cry when she leaves ='(

it has been really nice having a good (crazy for coming to Chicago in January) friend coming to stay with me for a while. I really need a friend from home so i can ease back into school. break was fun and stressful all at once. im soooooo happy to be back in Chicago. As much as i love Philly there are somethings i just needed to be away from for a while.

xoxox
-girl with an amazing, crazy, lovable friend

far away

......

where did my childhood go? it would be kinda nice to have it back. thanks

“I don’t think its over. I think we are in that in between stage. Like we are practicing to be adults, but could really be just as happy in overalls running around.”—MOH (friend since 1st grade)

i don’t know when it ended. in a telephone conversation with my dad he said “childhood is over”.

I know he was saying it to give me a reality check while i was freaking out about something and I really do appreciate it. I am in college now and I am working hard in school to do something with my life, not because the state requires me to be in school.

Was there a cut off, a day that childhood ended?

Was there a room i walked into, is childhood a place i get permanently locked out of?

i could really rock some overalls and sit on the couch watching Hey Arnold with some mac n cheese.

i guess if we never grew up no one else would have a chance at a childhood.

i would never hurry my princess soso's childhood.

friends are fun

it's really great to see my friends. i sorta feel like i never left, but at the same time i feel i have been gone forever.

i went to the homecoming football game and saw a lot of my central people, but didn't get to really spend a lot of time with anyone. i went back to Central the Monday after thanksgiving to see my teachers and visit a few friends. it was nice seeing everyone, but i think i'm gonna try and stay out of the halls of Central High for a while.

I had lunch with Blondie (amelia) and we had soooo much fun. We yelled, jumped, laughed, ate, creeped, wandered, ate again, ran, hugged then i left.

jo came over today and yesterday. We yelled, hugged, laughed, took retarded pictures, reminisced, i ate, it rained, she left.

i'm going to NYC to see juicy this weekend. i can't wait i miss her soo much. its crazy to go from seeing someone everyday to not seeing them for months.

its good to be home

-girl